HUMOUR

Lucy and Sally are walking along when Lucy looks down and says, "Look". As she stoops and looks at the ground, Sally looks down and asks, "Look at what?". Lucy replies, "Look at that tiny bug...have you ever thought about how little he knows?" Sally kneels on the ground and says, "He doesn't know what day it is, that's for sure!" She continues, "He doesn't know what's on TV tonight, either..."

Lucy spreads her arms and says, "He's never even heard of Farrah Fawcett-Majors" Sally exclaims, "Oh Mary Tyler Moore"

Lucy says, "He doesn't know there's a moon in the sky and fish in the ocean..." Sally says, "He doesn't know anything about kites, or frisbees or even ice cream cones!"

They look down again and Lucy says, "And he's never heard of barbers, or baptism, or bass drums..." Linus walks up to them and asks, "Say do either of you girls know where the new post office is? They look up and Lucy replies, "what new post office?" Sally says, "I didn't even know we had a new post office..."

The bug speaks and Linus replies, "Oh, it is? Thank you very much"

The girls sit in amazement as the bug crawls of singing.

To stoop: agacharse
Bug: Bicho
To kneel: arrodillarse
To spread one's arms: Extender los brazos
Kite: cometa
Bass drum: bombo
Say: oye (dí)
In amazement: asombrada
Crawls of singing: se va cantando

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Hispania educación y comunicación

Pasaje Doctor Serra, 1, entresuelo 4, 46004, 
TEL: 963526615
Email: info@hispaniaeduca.com
WEB: http://www.hispaniaeduca.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/hispaniaeduca.valencia
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hispaniaeduca
Blog: http://hispaniaeduca.blogspot.com.es/

THREE IRISHMEN (Nivel Intermedio)

One evening three middle-aged Irishmen go drinking in a country pub. 

They have a lot to drink and, as is often the case, they become sentimental and start discussing the meaning of life and death. They become so sentimental in fact, that, when the pub closes and they start walking home, they decide to stop off in the local churchyard in order to look at tombstones.

One fellow finds a tombstone and calls over to his friends: “Look at this guy,” he exclaims, “he lived to the age of 86, isn’t that grand? Wouldn’t you both love to live to 86? God bless him! 

“What’s his name?” ask his friends. “Let’s see… er, ´Patrick O’Reilly’.” “That’s nothing!” shouts another member of the trio, “this guy lived till he was 97. Wouldn’t you both love to live to 97? God bless him!”. “And what’s his name?” ask the other two. “Let me see… er, ‘Seasmus O’Connor,’” their friend replies.

Then the third member of the group starts jumping up and down in his excitement: “But that’s nothing!” he shouts, “This guy lived till he was 146. Can you imagine it, 146?” “Oh, come on! Answer the other two, “that’s impossible! Nobody lives to 146! “Well, this guy did” answers their friend, defiantly.

“And what’s his name?” ask the others. “Let me have a look now. Here it is: er… ‘Miles to Dublin’”

• Churchyard: Cemetery
• Tombstone: Gravestone
• Grand: Great
• God bless him: Dios le bendiga
• Defiantly: En tono desafiante

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Hispania educación y comunicación

Pasaje Doctor Serra, 1, entresuelo 4, 46004, 
TEL: 963526615
Email: info@hispaniaeduca.com
WEB: http://www.hispaniaeduca.com
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/hispaniaeduca.valencia
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Hispaniaeduca
Blog: http://hispaniaeduca.blogspot.com.es/

Jokes in English (Chistes en inglés)

http://iteslj.org/c/jokes.html

DO YOU GET IT?

1. When I was young I didn't like going to weddings.
   My grandmother would tell me, "You're next"
   However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
2. A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
   B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
3. Q: What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
   A: A stick.

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http://iteslj.org/c/jokes.html 

LO PILLAS?

1. Cuando yo era joven no me gustaba ir a las bodas.
   Mi abuela solía decirme “Tú eres el siguiente”
   Sin embargo, dejó de hacerlo después de que yo empezara a decirle lo mismo a ella en los funerales.
2. A: ¿No llevas el anillo de boda en el dedo equivocado?
   B: Sí, es que me casé con el hombre equivocado.
3. Q: ¿Como se le llama a un bumerán que no vuelve?
   A: Un palo.